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Anchor Marco Werman speaks with Pastor Chris Phillips about the challenges of ministering to active duty military personnel and their families.
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MARCO WERMAN: Few reactions to the President’s decision to send more troops to Afghanistan will be more profound than those of American military families. Those families often rely on their local communities for support. Take those living around Camp Lejeune, the Marine base in North Carolina. Many families there turn to the River of Life Church. It’s a non-denominational Christian community not far from the base, in Jacksonville, North Carolina. Chris Phillips is Pastor there and Pastor Chris, last night President Obama announced that 30,000 more troops will be deployed to Afghanistan. Presumably some of them will come from the area that you minister, and some of them will come to your for counsel before leaving. What do you say to these young men and women? What advice do you have for them?
PASTOR CHRIS: The Marines and Sailors who are pat of our church are highly skilled professional, young men and women and they are ready and capable of going anywhere and doing anything that the President asks them to do. You know, we don’t really necessarily have to encourage them very much. The people that we have to encourage are the families that are left behind.
WERMAN: And what are the challenges of ministering specifically to these families?
PASTOR CHRIS: The challenges that we face are to provide them with support they need emotionally, to keep them in a place where they’re busy, they’re occupied, not just sitting at home and sort of count the minutes until their loved one gets home. But to be able to be proactive and to do some things that will make a difference. So once a month we send out care packages to the deployed Marines and Sailors so many of the wives that …
WERMAN: This is the Deployed Military Support Group you’re talking about?
PASTOR CHRIS: Yes, Deployed Military Support Group. So many of the wives are working actively in that, and that gives them something to do not just when they’re putting the packages together but they have social events, they have nights out where the kids will be watched and taken care of so that these moms that are pretty much working 24/7 taking care of their kids without a break will have a night out to go to a movie, to go bowling, to do something. Just relaxing and fun to release some of the pressure and some of the stress. And each Sunday we ask if anyone has returned from deployment, and then when we find someone who has returned from deployment, they receive a sustained round of applause, a standing ovation and we welcome them home very, very enthusiastically and let them know how much we appreciated their service to the country.
WERMAN: Right. I’m sure that that applause is a real morale booster for them. What happens after the applause? How do you help them with their transition back here in the States?
PASTOR CHRIS: Well, we see all kinds of things here. The rate of divorce is extremely high. We’ve been able to help couples who are going through difficulties once they get home, having some problems. But one of the things that we see is the types of things we’re doing seem to be pre-emptive. So because we’re taking care of the families, we’re not seeing as many of those types of situations that perhaps would occur otherwise. Many of these young women are barely out of their teens, and they’ve got a couple of little kids that are in diapers. And when their husband goes off they haven’t been married that long, maybe they didn’t come from the most stable home environment. And this area then would be extremely tempting for them to go out to the clubs, perhaps get involved in another relationship while their husband is deployed and wind up creating major, major problems in their life, that the husband is thinking about and struggling with while he’s deployed.
WERMAN: And is that a problem?
PASTOR CHRIS: Because he doesn’t know where his wife is on Friday night, and he doesn’t know who she’s with or what she’s up to. And when that young woman is planted in this local church, and we’re taking care of her, encouraging her, then that guy doesn’t really have a whole lot of things to worry about. And that just creates a clean slate for them to start right up again where they left off.
WERMAN: And presumably the danger is the same for the husband coming back from overseas, going out with his buddies once he lands?
PASTOR CHRIS: Yeah, and usually, you know, because we have been providing them with an opportunity to spiritually stay in a place where that doesn’t seem like that’s such an attractive option when they do come home. They usually skip that part and they just wind up, you know, coming to church the first Sunday and picking up right where they left off.
WERMAN: Do you find there are more questions as a deployment such as this one is announced?
PASTOR CHRIS: It’s difficult. I wish that every person in America would have an opportunity to spend enough time in a community like this to really understand who these people are. They’re not drafted, they’re volunteers. They’re not stupid, they’re not people who have no options who are only doing this because they can’t do anything else. They’re just some of the best people that I’ve ever been around in my life, and they don’t sit around and ask why do we have to do this? They believe that this is more of a calling than a job.
WERMAN: Chris Phillips, the Pastor at the River of Life Church just outside Camp Lejeune in North Carolina. Thank you very much for your time.
PASTOR CHRIS: Well, I appreciate the opportunity, and I love to talk about these guys. They’re great people and we’re happy to be in a position where we can take care of their families while they’re taking care of us.
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If you ever wondered whether Christianity (and other patriarchal religions) are about saving souls or controlling women, this interview left no doubt. Their idea of “ministering” to military families is mainly to keep those dirty nasty military wives from going out and having fun while their husbands are deployed. See, because if you don’t keep them in church (and in line) they’ll just go out and boink anything in pants. And that would be horrible for the returning soldier!
Because Maude knows that’s the most important thing to a military family – making sure the soldier’s property isn’t being used by anyone else. Not.
Disgusting.
Wow… I’m not quite sure what to say to the first comment by “Dana” other than; as much as your comment hurts me, I forgive you and I pray that God reveals the truth to you.
I attend this Church and it is an amazing place. I have never been so welcomed and loved. Men are valued, women are valued, there is every race and ethnicity there that I can imagine, and all have equal value and standing. I have been in the Marine Corps long enough and have been on enough deployments to know that infidelity is a big problem. My first wife was unfaithful to me on my second deployment, so I know how it is. My new (and God delivered, wonderful) second wife love this church. I am 100% sure that when I deploy again she will be surrounded by hundreds of wonderful Godly men and women at River of Life Church who will lift her up and be a light and a stronghold for her to lean on in her hard times. I know with out a doubt that my wedding bed will be undefiled when I get home (both in heart and in the flesh). And I know that this chruch, along with the love of God will help us transition back after our long seperation. This is a wonderful, God blessed church.
I’m sorry Dana felt the need to take out of context and misinterpret what the Pastor was saying regarding the reason for the care given to those left behind. Dana, I’m sorry for your pain. There is so much venom in your statement it can only come from a very wounded heart. I pray for a healing to your soul and that someday you will be able to forgive whomever it was that hurt you so deeply.
I just wanted to say that the purpose of the church being so involved with the family left behind is not to “control” them Dana. People in this community know how easy it is to look for “stuff” to fill the void when your going through a difficult time like a deployment. Sometimes that stuff is cheating on your spouse, drugs, or drinking. All of those things are temporay and don’t really help. The church is trying to help the spouses fill their time with worthy causes that make them feel good about themselves and help others as well. It is important to stay connected with that deployed spouse as much as possible. Making care packages for soldiers is one way of doing that.
One last thing to anyone who is doubting….
My husband and I were on the brink of divorce from infidelity(on my part) and the pastors and people of this church helped us more than word can ever say. We celebrated our 10yr anniversary this year. I am eternally grateful.