No Room for Introverts in London’s Popular Speed Flatmating

I visited a “speed flatmating” event recently. As the name suggests – this is a cross between flatmate hunting and speed dating. So if you’re looking for a flat (or a room in a flat) to rent, this could be your ticket to getting a roof above your head.

You’re expected to meet (read – schmooze) potential landlords or roommates, get a few numbers and move on and do a bit more of that.

Some of those contacts may come in handy, some not. The promoters are only too happy to suggest that this is not just about getting a house. When you get so many people together, Cupid may be round the corner too.

But the idea of meeting strangers this way is fascinating. Especially in London. This is a city that isn’t very well-known for being friendly. Polite yes, but gregarious – no way.

And that’s why this event struck me as a bit strange. While I love London very much, it is a city where people don’t talk to each other. Strangers coming up to you and starting a conversation? That is a strict no-no.

A ride on London’s underground trains demonstrates this only too well. People engage with their iPods, newspapers or books. But not with each other. Just today I could hear a few people talking loudly on the tube. Unsurprisingly, they were tourists from Alabama, not Londoners.

So that’s why I found this experience strangely liberating. Going up and talking to people about what kind of roommate you are. Wow.

But as I walked out, I was pulled to one side by a tall, slightly withdrawn man who I guessed must be in his twenties.

“What is it like in there? Are there a lot of people? What are they like?”

I introduced myself, saying I was doing this for a radio program.

“Oh. Okay,” he said. “I feel a bit uncomfortable when there are too many people in a room. How many are there?”

There were about a hundred. But to not put him off, I said, “It is crowded but not that crowded. You should give it a shot.”

He mumbled a few words (I assumed he was saying thank you.) And he continued to pace, as I left the venue.

But as I walked out, I did think to myself – aren’t introverts at a massive disadvantage at events like this one?

If you feel shy about going up to strangers, then you’ll not do well here . That’s a bit of a shame. Especially because people who don’t ask you probing questions about your life may just make for very good house mates.

Unfortunately, you won’t find them at a flatmating event. But you can always check for the ones who are pacing outside the venue.